Kate Tym

Kate's Kids Poetry

I'm a performance poet so my stuff is written to be performed. So, remember, although it can be read OK off the page, it's better when it's read out loud by me!

Hopefully soon I'll be getting some stuff recorded and then you'll be able to hear for yourself.

Spooky Story
Busy Body
We Love Our Family
Lollipop Man
A Goldfish's Vote of Thanks
A Hamster's Lament
Giraffe
Hippo
Rhino
Jaguar
Lion
Tiger

Spooky Story

I hope you're feeling hale and hearty
Because I want to tell you about a party

A Halloween party for spooks and witches
In trailing coats and sparkly britches

A party with bats and vampires and snakes
Boiled rat soup and bogey cakes

A party with magical farting owls
Who turn smiley faces into scowls

Now, this party took place in All Souls Hall
Sometime in October if I recall

The first to arrive was the skeleton, Bea
She had to come first because she had the key

Then came Louis the ogre so fat and hairy
That even the skeleton found him scary

The witches came next Lara and Maia
With a cauldron perched on a magical fire

Then goblins Gregory, Scott and Ryan
Who had caught some mice and were trying to fry 'em

Harry came next, a mummy from a tomb
Then Gabby and Buddy joined the gloom

Moaning and groaning as spooks will do
A cackling, grunting ghostly crew

Then came the vampires Max and Isabella
Who nuzzled the neck of a plump young fella

Before joining her friends Luke and Niamh
Who had tarantula tucked up her sleeve

Joshua followed with peg-leg Jake
Who'd brought the spectacular party cake

Lily had made it from slugs and worms
And added some dog sick just for the germs

Tallulah ate some and said 'it's delish!'
And Ethan declared it his favourite dish

Evie jumped up and played on her fiddle
While Freya and Marnie danced in the middle

Mathilda, Rosie, Florence and Daisy
Stomped and span and twirled like crazy

Grabbing hold of poor old Luke
Who looked like he was going to ... Puke!

Hannah howled and Olivia growled
While Aidan and Benedict slowly prowled

Around the room in search of ants
They wanted to drop them down Dylan's pants

Sammy was chomping on rotten egg pies
While Amy was juggling dead cats' eyes

Joseph filled party bags full of slime
And dropped in beetles one at a time

While Willow put in a treat or two
Including smelly doggy do

And as the party drew to an end
One last message was left to send

A powerful spell a magical mutter
That Lotti arose and began to utter

By day, by night, by dark by light
Through days through years
And in and out of never
All who came to the Halloween Party
All who listened hale and hearty
Shall stay firm friends... Forever!

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Busy Body

Hair can be short or long
Weak or strong
Wavy or curly
Boyish or girly
Filthy dirty or clean and nice
Fine and healthy or full of lice!
Wash it comb it treat it with care
Because one day it might not be there!
(if you're a boy!)

Wink them blink them rub them too
Eyes can be green or brown or blue
Eyes can see and eyes can cry
And eyes might show when you tell a lie
Some eyes need glasses to clear the view
So it's lucky we've got a pair of ears too!
(to rest your glasses on!)

What's the best thing do you suppose
About your rather fabulous nose?
Smelling, itching and sniffing too
Let's here it for sneezing AAAATTTTCCHHHOOOOO!

Big mouth small mouth
Open wide
And pop a delicious little sweet inside
Stick out your tongue
Smile please!
Chew on a toffee or chomp on cheese
The thing about my mouth that I'd really miss
Is a great big smoochy sloppy old kiss!

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We Love Our Family

Tallulah likes dollies and teddies and rabbits
She likes dressing as a fairy and a ballerina too
Tallulah likes sweets and crisps and cherries
Saying 'No' loudly and shoes that are new

Maia likes dragon and telly and dancing
Wearing party dresses and putting on a show
Maia likes sweets and crisps and carrots
Hiding behind the curtains and burping in a row

Lotti likes lamby and bunny and Rupert
Writing and drawing and doing her beads
Lotti likes talking and having her hair done
And shelves and shelves full of books which she reads

Mummy likes relaxing, sunshine and reading
Chocolate and puddings and curries full of spice
Mummy likes children who answer her politely
And Mummy likes not having to say things twice

Wilbur likes football and sleeping and surfing
Pickled-onion flavoured crisps and curry with rice
Wilbur likes children who answer him politely
And Wilbur likes not having to say things twice

Tallulah hates real clothes, nappies and vegetables
People saying 'No' to her and having her face wiped
Tallulah hates wet grass, nose blows and eczema
Being too small for the bicycle and having her toys swiped

Maia hates the dark, hair-wash time and tidying
And Lotti shouting at her which is never very nice
Maia hates dressing herself and putting her own shoes on

And having her hair brushed or worse, checked for lice!
Lotti hates Tallulah taking pieces from her puzzles
Being told it's time for bath time or sent to her room
Lotti hates always being the big sister
Shepherds pie, mushrooms and fireworks that zoom

Mummy hates mess and slugs in the garden
Emptying the dustbin and too much telly
Mummy hates shouting, snatching and hitting
Spitting and pinching and smells which are smelly

Wilbur hates work - he goes there every day you know
Emptying the dustbin, which Mummy makes him do
Wilbur hates shouting, snatching and hitting
Spitting and pinching and nappies full of poo
Tallulah loves Mummy and Wilbur (he's the daddy!)
And Maia and Lotti and the pets who are new
She loves having tickles and laughing and playing
And kisses and cuddles and 'nosey rubs' too

Maia loves Mummy and Wilbur and Tallulah
And Lotti and Henry and Rupert who's new
She loves having tickles and laughing and playing
And kisses and cuddles and 'upside-downs' too

Lotti loves Mummy and Wilbur and Maia
And Tallulah and Henry and Rupert who's new
She loves having tickles and laughing and playing
And kisses and cuddles and 'duff you ups' too

Mummy loves Wilbur and Lotti and Maia
Tallulah and Rupert and bunny Henry too
Mummy loves cuddles and kisses and snuggles
Everyone together and a day that is new

Wilbur loves Lotti and Maia and Tallulah
Rupert and Henry and, of course, Mummy
(He says he doesn't love the pets but we've all seen him
stroking them and patting them and tickling on the tummy!)

We all love camping, and barbecues and sleepovers,
Friends who come to stay with us and gifts from Auntie Sue
We love Uncle Jeremy, Grandma Jo and Arnie,
Granny Rita and Zelda and the pony Rosie Too

Then there's Uncle Christopher and also Auntie Bethan
And cousins Tom and Ashley who take us to the pool
There's Alice and Maisie and Fraser who's two now
Auntie Flo and Uncle Bert who likes to act the fool

We all love holidays and play parks and pizza
Little farms and beaches and castles which are bouncy
Candy floss and carousels and click-clack shoes to walk in
Big hats, fairy wings and dresses which are flouncy

Sometimes we shout a lot get cross and stamp our feet
Tallulah has a paddy and it lasts for half an hour!
Sometimes Maia whines or Lotti says 'Whatever!'
Or Wilbur pulls a grumpy face and Mummy looks all sour

But on the whole we're happy all of us together
We like different things but we also like each other
All the girls together in our happy family
With only one thing missing... we'd like a little brother!

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For Richard, Our Lollipop Man

Come rain or shine
You're on time,
standing in the lane
In the hail
Without fail
Or in a hurricane
You're always jolly
With your lolly
To cross without you would be folly
So thank you very much!

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A Goldfish's Vote of Thanks

Firstly I would like to thank
From the bottom of my tank
Nicky Shorter, the cleaner's daughter
Who always comes to change my water -
Whenever she's around

Secondly my thanks extend
To a very loyal friend
Mrs Meacher, 3B's teacher
A very kind and caring creature
She keeps my filter clean

Katy Clarke's third on my list
A feeding time she's never missed
Without her I would not exist
Her passing form I've often kissed -
Through the glass of my watery world

The fourth and final candidate
I'd like to thank for being great
Is someone I think of as a mate
Who makes the long and lonely wait
Of summer so much better

It's no one else but Mr Reed
A headmaster with a special creed -
To cater for my every need -
And act on this in thought and deed
For six weeks every summer

So as the term will soon be over
I don't want to sound a complete pushover
But you've kept me in goldfish clover
I'm well and truly (goldfish) bowled over
So thank you every one!

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A Hamster's Lament

Imagine what it's like in here
Year after tortuous year
When no one really gives a jot
If I'm happy or if I'm not
And no one seems to give a stuff
If my water's changed enough
Or if there's straw for my bed
Or even when or if I'm fed!

I would say Mrs Kelly's to blame
But all of them are just the same
No matter who's in charge I find
The children often less than kind
Some laugh at me and call me smelly
Or prod and poke my little belly
And no one wants to clean my cage
It fills me with a hamster rage

And the holidays are just as bad
To think of it, it makes me sad
How they all fight to make me thries
But once they've got me no one cares
What the break is like for me
No special seeds or fruit for tea
No kind words, no soft strokes
Just the usual taunts and pokes

Until the hols are at an end
When they clean the cage and pretend
They've loved me every single day
Spun my wheel and watched me play
When I alone know the dreadful truth
About the heartlessness of youth
And wish a wish as I often do
That I get transferred to the local zoo!

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Giraffe

When I stretch my neck
I can see for miles
I can see the hippos
And the crocodiles
I can see flamingos
Pink and bright
And the shining stars
In the jet-black night
I can see the gazelles
And the springboks leaping
Hyenas laughing
And lions creeping
I can see the vultures
Circling round
And a snake slithering into
Its hole underground
With a neck like mine
There's no need to roam
As I can see Africa
My home sweet home

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Hippo

I'm a hippo
Dontcha know
Not too fast
And not too slow
Nice and fat
I like it like that
Dirtier than a
Dirty rat

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Rhino

I'm a rhino
Dontcha know
Sometimes fast
And sometimes slow
Don't do calmer
I like drama
Why d'ya think
I'm wearing armour?

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Jaguar

I'm Jaguar
I race
At one heck of a pace
I'm in your face
The big cat about the place
Catch me if you can -
...Man.

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Lion

It drives the lioness completely crazy
That her man's so yawningly lazy
As he lies in the shade of a leafy tree
Wondering what he'll be brought for his tea
Perhaps a tasty wildebeest?
Or a warthog – always good for a feast

Scratching his back and shaking his mane
While his wife and cubs run round the plain
Crouching in the grass in the midday heat
So he can have something tasty to eat
And the selfish critter, without a care
Always helps himself to the lion's share

Snarling at any who dare to try
To get a slice of his antelope pie
Growling and flashing his needle-like claws
Biffing the little ones with boxing-glove paws
Then rolling over, some cubs in his lap
For a very important big-cat-nap

But if you think he's really the king
Just watch the lioness do her thing
It's the lady lion keeps the pride on track
It's the Mrs that's the head of this pack
He and roar and snarl but for all of that
He's really just a great big pussy cat

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Tiger

Stripey
Stalky
Sneaky
Growly
Prowly
Crouchy
Creepy
Scratchy
Snappy
Pouncy
Bouncy
Tiger

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Kate's Kids Poetry

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